| Track | Title |
| 1 | Noble Stabbings!! |
| 2 | A Floater Left With Pleasure In The Executive Washroom |
| 3 | Fuzzy Pink Hand-Cuffs |
| 4 | The Father, The Son, And The Homosexual/Single Parent |
| 5 | Sell The House Sell The Car Sell The Kids Find Someone Else Forget It I'm Never Coming Back Forget It |
| 6 | Folk Song |
| 7 | Fired-Side Chat |
| 8 | I Was Born On A Pirate Ship (Hold Your Tongue) |
| 9 | D4 = Putting The 'F' Back In 'Art' |
| 10 | All Rise For The Rational Anthem |
| 11 | Labour Issues In The Toy Department |
| 12 | File Under "Adult Urban Contemporary" |
| 13 | New Punk Fashions For The Spring Formal |
