| Track | Title |
| 1 | Use My Arsehole As A Cunt |
| 2 | A Semi-On With A Drop Of Pre-Cum |
| 3 | The Worst Thing In The World |
| 4 | Wanking Over A Pornographic Polaroid Of An Ex-Girlfriend Who Died |
| 5 | Soapy Tit Wank |
| 6 | Feminine Itch |
| 7 | My Mum Found My Wankmags |
| 8 | I Shit My Pants |
| 9 | Just Can't Get Enough |
| 10 | Wank The Dog |
| 11 | Carol Vorderman |
| 12 | The Bloke Up The Garage Fucked A Sheep |
| 13 | Have A Wank |
